My life has entered a new phase recently, about four months ago, and I must say it has its ups and downs. I have always been working, in the telecommunications corporate world, i might say, and after much thought, I decided to become a full time stay at home mom, or SAHM they now call it. Well, I didnt just decided over night, it was a result of months of thinking, and arguing, and guilt and exhaustion. The maid left in Feb 2013, and since then my mom has been looking after the kids. The house was a mess, and I never seem to have time. By the time I got home from the office, had to rush and pick up my daughter, and then rush home. Dinner was usually bought, and the nights is usually spent tidying up or preparing for the next day routine. My childrens birthday cake was usually ordered at the last minute, and I never have time to sit down and think of the little things, like what kind of picture to put on the birthday cake, which will definitely make my children happy. I tried sending my youngest to the nursery, but he wailed like nobody's business, and I apparently cannot take it. Call me over protective or emotional, but I cannot stand leaving my kids wailing in the arms of people I barely know and trust. My mom, on the other hand, is over 60, and she should have her own peace as well. Taking care of toddlers is no walk in the park. Especially my kids! And then there's the task of sending and picking up the bigger kids, so its a full-time job I tell you! Poor mom!
Life at the office was not all breezy, though having great friends helped maintained my sanity a lot. Work wasnt great, no job satisfaction. Somehow my boss at that time likes to clean up other people's mess, and then take the crap for it. So it kinda helped me in making my decision.
So in September 2013, my life as a 'housewife' began. I am still getting used to that term, by the way. I had to fill in a form recently for my daughter's school, and it needed the mother's occupation. Paused there for a bit. In denial? haha
Anyways, after 4 months of not working, I have to admit I have my ups and downs. I sometime feel like working again, though I cannot admit that to everyone, because as far as I know, many working moms would love to be home and cook and take care of their kids. So it made me feel like a bad mom, a little bit. "I dont feel like I'm doing anything with my life." .. "Of course you are, you are taking care of your kids and nurturing them to be a better person when they grow up, how can that not be anything??" .. it's those kind of conversations I have in my head whenever I think of working again. Dont get me wrong, I love my kids to death, but sometimes I need more human interaction. Being at work gives me the chance to meet new people, and bond with the old ones. I vent out to my friends about my day, and they confide in me in various areas, including VPLs. hehe..
My ups, however, are really great though. I have been running a lot in the mornings, improving my health and losing some inches :) yahooo! I have also gathered the courage to enter a running event, my first 10km! I have entered 3 runs since, and i have more lined up for this coming year :) .. thats a great accomplishment for myself, i feel.
And of course, my kids. I have been able to pay more attention, and not rush every school preparation. I could also make them eat properly, though I am still working on that. I am not much of a cook, and I sometimes buy food too. :( .. I envy moms who work, and still be able to come home and cook dinner for the family. To me you would need superhuman power to be able to cook, hahaha... I admit I am more relaxed, and I am also able to do more reading. I got a weekly maid for the housework too, yeehaaa! and I try to go out once a week for lunch with my buddies. I still need to be in contact with the world, or else ill go insane!!
So all in all, well actually i havent covered everything here, i still need to talk about my skin condition and beauty regime.. hehe.. my lack of funds for shopping.. my friends.. my family.. and so many other things about my transition in life!!! next post then... this is becoming too long for a first post in a blog..
adios!
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